There are very few upsides to having cancer but sometimes an unexpected benefit can come during the hardest of times. Vanessa Job is going through a hard time right now. In the throes of treatment for bowel cancer, she is trying to balance the needs of her two younger children, support her older daughter and her two-year old grandson and keep up with her treatments and therapies. Her energy levels may seem high to many of us but Vanessa usually has the energy of 2 to 3 people of her age so right now it’s a lot to keep on top of. Her husband, Ocky, is her greatest supporter and her family are her rock but its not easy. So when she made the decision to stay at Inis Aoihinn while going though 6 weeks of radiotherapy at Galway University Hospital it was with a slightly heavy heart. “I talked it over with Ocky and we decided that it was the best thing to do rather than face into the long journey to and from Sligo every day” Vanessa said. “But I was afraid I would miss the children and I would feel isolated and alone while there.”

And so she began her stay at “The Lodge” coming down every Monday and returning home on a Friday night. Vanessa had heard about the place from friends who had stayed there but she didn’t really know what to expect. “It has turned into such an unexpected source of comfort and support, I couldn’t really do it justice” Vanessa went on to describe. “The peace of mind and quiet time I get here each week just sets me up for the weekend with my kids and grandson, Logan. I can give them so much more of my energy over the weekend knowing I will return to the Lodge and can rest there the following week, as I receive my treatment.”

The care and support of the staff is another huge upside to her weekly stays. “I can relax and just concentrate on myself and my needs because literally everything else is done for me. The nurses are so kind and caring. I don’t have to worry about symptoms or side effects or anything at all. I just have to phone to their office and they look after me.”

The really important upside for Vanessa though has been her ability to go through this time without dragging the ups and downs of it into her children’s day to day lives.  So when she goes back again to Sligo on a Friday night she can cuddle up with Rollo and Bella and have a lovely movie night. “It’s hard being a mum when you are sick so you have to make the best of the times you can be with the children and give them the best of you that you can. Inis Aoibhinn means I can do this and this is a very precious gift for me.”

Vanessa is a lovely, inspirational and positive person. She is making the best of everything she has to do as she gets through this time. Our staff at Inis Aoibhinn are so happy to look after and help her, because Vanessa deserves all the help we can give her. We will miss her when she finishes her treatment but we hope to see her for a cuppa and a chat anytime she is in town.

No one is ever prepared for the shock of a cancer diagnosis according to Cedric Burke, who, in 2018, was diagnosed with prostate cancer at the age of 46. A father of four, Cedric and his wife Lavinia were living a busy and fulfilling family life in Woodford, near Portumna in County Galway. Looking back at the time prior to his diagnosis, Cedric can see there were a few signs that everything might not be right but these symptoms were almost unnoticeable, especially when everything else seemed so normal. So it was a profound shock for him when he received his cancer diagnosis following a routine check with his GP.

Immediately after my diagnosis I felt a bit overwhelmed and struggled to come to terms with what this meant for me and my family. Decisions on treatment were made quickly and I had my surgery soon after and thankfully this went well. Even better I didn’t require further treatment so my physical recovery also went well. However, the mental health side of my diagnosis was a lot more difficult to manage and this is where I really needed more longer-term support.

The Cancer Care West Support Centre therefore has been an integral part of my cancer journey as this is where I have received most of my psychological counselling and also where I found the space in which I could come to terms with everything. My counsellor is Ulrike Kennedy and she has been an amazing help to me, understanding the impact having cancer has had on me and those around me. Moving from the traditional role of provider and protector of my family to that of someone who needs support myself has been difficult but Ulrike has helped me put this in perspective. Even on the days when all I felt like doing is moaning, Ulrike and her colleagues were there for me with a warm welcome, a cup of tea and the wise words to pick you up and keep you going.

With the advent of COVID-19 in 2020 everyone’s lives changed dramatically and life became quite difficult for us all. Thankfully, Cancer Care West managed to keep the majority of their services going throughout. Counselling sessions over the phone and Zoom Yoga classes have remained vital to my ongoing recovery. When other supports I was availing of were closed they have remained accessible and I am very grateful for this.

I am well on the road to recovery now and I am looking forward to the future and all it will bring. Without question my wife has been my biggest support and has gotten me through it all. But we could not have done it alone and Cancer Care West has filled that gap and made such a difference to my cancer story.

John Slattery and his children Lewis and Sarah had their world turned upside down in December 2019 when John’s wife Yvonne lost her battle to cancer. The beautiful, talented and caring mum was no longer a physical presence in their lives and the hole left in their hearts was gigantic.  In the 15 months since, they have gone on to deal with their loss both individually and as a family and they have been helped in this by many caring and supportive relatives and friends, colleagues and organisations. John is extremely grateful for this support but singles out one organisation for the highest praise for how they have been there for the family and that organisation is Cancer Care West.

Throughout Yvonne’s illness Dr Mairead Brennan and Dr Damien Connolly, Clinical Psychologists at Cancer Care West, have been stalwarts in their support bubble. Working mainly with the children Mairead created a space for them in which they felt safe and gave them the language in which they could voice their fears, anger and distress. Following on from Yvonne’s death Mairead continued to provide this support structure and the children benefited hugely from her interventions. Then COVID came along and the in-person sessions were suspended. At this time John remembers that “unlike many people who found this a difficult time in their lives the first lockdown was actually an unlikely blessing for me, Lewis and Sarah. It gave us an opportunity to close down a bit from the outside world and just to be together – the three of us – holding on and healing.” John took a massive step back from his professional life and between them they sowed the seeds of a new life, still sad but stronger and more resilient. John believes that the foundation for this time of recovery was laid by Mairead and Damien and their input gave them the emotional vocabulary they needed to interact, talk and work through their feelings.

More recently John was delighted when Mairead contacted him to ask if Sarah would like to join a new remote therapy group called CUBS which stands for Children United in Bereavement Support, that she and her colleague, Clinical Psychologist Dr Cathy O’ Sullivan, were setting up for children bereaved by cancer.  The group consists of 5-6 children and is run online in a series of 1 hourly sessions over 8 weeks. The aim of the program is to help foster recovery from their grief while building an emotional stability which will help them move forward. While it is early in the program John can see that it that it is helping Sarah and she is happy to attend the sessions. “Sarah is a brave little soul and this program gives her the relaxed space in which she can process her grief in the company of other children. It would be better for the children to be able to do this in person but to have something like this at all during this time is a massive help and I am very grateful to Mairead for giving Sarah this opportunity”.

From the beginning when Yvonne was diagnosed the family have being coming to Cancer Care West to avail of their services. John likes the fact that the organisation is just there for them with no agenda. “We have always been open with the children and others about Yvonne’s diagnosis but it was still hard to open up completely about the true impact of what we were going through. Mairead understood and gave us the place and time to process so much. It was a difficult time for us as a couple but with her support we found the strength to get through what was in the end a short and extremely painful time.”

As John watches his little girl adjust her looks in the visor mirror as they head off on a journey, he sees her mum shine out in her every movement and expression. He is very proud of her and Lewis. “They are great kids and I know that, while the loss of Yvonne is immense, we are a tight knit unit and we will learn to live with our grief and make a good life for ourselves. This is in some measure due to the help we have received from Mairead and Cancer Care West.”

Joe and I have been married for 40 years. Joe has always been very active in our community of Dunmanway, West Cork and even more so since his recent retirement. In April Joe was diagnosed with Myeloma, a hard knock for our family. Joe initially had 16 weeks chemotherapy treatment in Cork, followed by surgery and a 5 week stay at University Hospital Galway – the specialist centre for Joe’s type of cancer.

As well as worrying about Joe’s diagnosis and how he was coping with treatment, I was very anxious about how we were going to manage financially. You think about saving for retirement or holidays, but you don’t think about saving for being sick. I worried about where I was going to stay for the 5 weeks that Joe was in hospital in Galway and applied for a credit union loan to pay for accommodation.

Then by chance I heard about Cancer Care West and their support for families of cancer patients. When Joe had his first week of treatment in Galway in September, Cancer Care West paid for my bed and breakfast. Not having to pay for accommodation was a huge relief but after a week in a B&B I knew that when we returned to Galway for 4 weeks in November that I would need a place of my own – a month is too long to stay in a B&B. Cancer Care West organised an apartment close to the hospital – I can cook and do washing, there is space for our children to stay at weekends and I can relax during the time I’m not with Joe.

For Joe, knowing that I am ok is a huge relief; a huge pressure has been taken from us and he can relax and concentrate on getting well. I do know that Joe is ok for now, but with the type of cancer Joe has, he will need to have this treatment again. I can cope with this because now I know I have the support of Cancer Care West behind me.

When Joe gets home we plan to do some fundraising for Cancer Care West, but no matter how much fundraising we do, we can never express what their support has meant to us.